Footballer Given Yellow Card For.........Flatulence

A FOOTBALL team who tried to put the wind up a penalty taker were left with more than red faces. One of Chorlton Villa's players was given a yellow card for allegedly breaking wind as a spot kick was taken.

The penalty was saved - but ordered to be retaken when the ref decided the noise had put the kicker off. Villa's goalkeeper was red carded for saying he believed the ref was 'the worst he had seen in years'. Minutes later another Villa player was sent off for expressing disbelief that his team-mate had been booked for flatulence. The re-taken penalty was scored by rivals International Manchester.

Villa, who won the game 6-4, finished the match at Turn Moss, Stretford, with just eight men. They had already had another player dismissed for giving the ref abuse.

England To Topple The Aussies?

In the final two days of the second Ashes cricket test at Lord's, Australia faces a tough fight to salvage a draw against England at Lord's.

Australia trails by 521 runs with England 311 for six in its second innings.

Australian bowler Nathan Hauritz says the players can only do their best for a draw from here on, and he sounded a bit nervous about it too.

Andrew Flintoff is 30 not out in his final innings at the home of cricket.

Who would have thought England could get the Aussies under some pressure, I certainly didn't, so I must congratulate the English guys on this effort and wish them good luck in their chase for a win.

Amir Khan Becomes WBA Light-Welterweight World Champion

Amir Khan finally got what he wanted. He became a world champion at the MEN Arena, Manchester, last night, delivering a marvellous, crafted boxing lesson to lift the World Boxing Association light-welterweight championship belt from Ukrainian Andreas Kotelnik.

Khan is still only 22 but he won in a landslide unanimous decision on the judges’ scorecards 120-108, 118-111, 118-111.

It was a thrilling effort by Khan whose lightning hand speed and remarkable fitness gave him the advantages to go well ahead on points in the first ten rounds.

The champion closed the gap a little in the closing rounds but could not catch Khan with the decisive punch to win the fight.

Khan’s thrilling hand speed told from the opening round as, light on his feet and circling, Kotelnik was forced to soak up Khan's jabs and left-right combinations. It set a pattern for the battle.

Khan does have a vulnerable chin as we have seen, but the problem for his opponents is, they have to catch him first. Khan’s defence looked stronger but there are still signs of rawness about Khan at times, but for the record he did not look overawed by his step up in weight and class against Kotelnik, 31, fighting in his fifth world title bout. Subtle changes will be worked on by the master tactician and trainer Freddie Roach in his Hollywood Wild Card Gym.

Yet Khan has come of age. Now all he has to do is keep improving and stay at world level.

The next job is to lure Ricky Hatton back for another fight.

Delara Darabi - Iran Murdered An Innocent Minor

It was 7am when Delara Darabi phoned home. "Oh mother, I see the hangman's noose in front of me," she garbled. "They are going to execute me. Please save me." Moments later a prison official snatched the handset away. "We will easily execute your daughter and there's nothing you can do about it," he barked at the parents. Then, with a chilling click, the line went dead.

The desperate couple rushed to the Central Prison in Rasht, Iran, wailing at the guards to let them see their 22-year-old. As they prostrated themselves, an ambulance emerged, most probably with Delara's corpse inside.

"They took Delara to the gallows with nobody around her," Mohammad Mostafaei, one of her lawyers, said in a letter distributed to human rights groups. "They put the rope on her delicate neck. I do not know who the cruel person was to pull the chair from under her feet." ..... Read Delara's story

How To Type More Than 140 Characters On Twitter

Well......not directly, but I have found a great tool that enables you to write a lengthy Tweet and then paste it into a pastebin, which then produces a 'tiny url' for it and presto, you can send all the information you want to in one easy, readable Tweet.

How cool is that. All you need to do is go to this link HERE and type in your message and hit submit.

It then saves your message, assigns it a URL which you can then copy paste into Twitter.

Audi TT RS

I'm a bit of an Audi fan, in fact I love them to death. I have an Audi A6, the 2.4 Quattro and I just love it so much. I know us prim and proper girlies aren't supposed to be keen on cars etc etc but hey, I am. Now Audi have brought out a beautiful new TT, the Audi TT RS.

It's ultra compact and weighs less than a Rizla. It's a 2.5-litre, five-cylinder turbocharged engine developing 335bhp. Hold on to your hats!!

As with all German cars, it is electronically limited to 155mph. However, for an extra £1,300 they will remove this so you can go and blast it around the track on track days. Top speed is then 174mph.It will do 0-60mph in 4.6 seconds, which is not too far behind Ferrari figures!

At £43,000 though it is out of my reach, unless I get cracking at work and get a few pay rises. I'll have to butter my boss up for this though. Now, where did I put that micro skirt?

Joe Jackson And The Jackson Three

Joe Jackson, father of the late pop star Michael Jackson, is reportedly preparing to take his grandchildren on a world tour as The Jackson Three.

Mr Jackson, who managed the Jackson Five when Michael was a child, is said to have approached Prince Michael, 12, Paris, 11, and seven-year old Prince Michael II - known as Blanket - to appear on stage next year. News of the tour comes after Mr Jackson told reporters that Paris had shown talent as a performer and that Blanket was a very good dancer.

However, the move has angered other members of the Jackson clan, who fear touring could expose the children to exploitation.

The children are currently the subjects of a custody battle.

Is there no end to this guys greed. He virtually beat Micheal Jackson to stardom, wrecking his childhood as he paraded his own five kids around the world. Now he wants to take the grandchildren and do the same with them. Unbelievable.

Micheal Jackson left his father out of his will. That says it all for me to be honest.

The BBC Robs The Public To Pay The Bonuses

Bonuses for the 10 most senior executives at the BBC have been suspended until further notice because of public anger over the size of their salaries.

The BBC Trust, the corporation's governing body, has imposed the ban amid clear signs that they will never be reinstated after some directors pocketed more than £100,000 in bonuses last year.

Sir Michael Lyons, the chairman of the Trust, writing in today's Daily Telegraph also warned that some salaries "appear too high" in the economic downturn.

While he did not name anyone it's thought he was directing his criticism at the deals struck with artistes such as Jonathan Ross who is on a three year £18 million contract.

The decision on directors' bonuses came after the disclosure that the BBC's 50 highest-paid staff earned as much as £13.6 million last year with 27 paid more than the Prime Minister.

It is Joe Public who pays for all of this. Little wonder the licence fee must be increased year in year out with these bonuses being paid out. I believe it compromises the quality content that is lacking in the BBCs production too. £13 million is a lot of cash to hand out for 'non-performance' bonuses.

Still, not to worry, we have Bargain Hunt to look forward to.