Simona Halep - Romanian Tennis Star Of The Future And Current French Open Junior Champion

Simona Halep - Romanian tennis player with big assets.

Simona Halep is the current junior French Open Champion.

Simona Halep is just seventeen years of age and experts think she has what it takes to get to the top.

Simona Halep should soon be competitive enough to make the late rounds of TV tournaments. If she does continue to raise her game, she might be able to parlay her body (of work) into endorsement gold.

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We Really Can't Win

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor apartment when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing.

"Damn, that was stupid,"

she thought as she fell.

"What a way to die."

As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.

While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"

"No!" she shrieked, aghast.

So, he dropped her.

As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked.

"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.

He dropped her, too.

The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance.

As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.

"Slut!" he said, and dropped her.

Amazing 3-D Pavement Art

These pictures are amazing. They are 3-D and look so real.

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Get ready to be amazed.

The Four Types Of Bengal Tiger

The four types of Bengal Tiger can be seen below.

My favourite animal in the whole world.

Sexy.

Watch out though, these mo fo's bite Grrrrrrrrr!

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Student's Report Cards

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system.

Oh how the pupils must look forward to report time.

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.