Sunday, 31 May 2009

The Four Types Of Bengal Tiger

The four types of Bengal Tiger can be seen below.

My favourite animal in the whole world.


Watch out though, these mo fo's bite Grrrrrrrrr!

Click the thumbs to see full size.

Student's Report Cards

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system.

Oh how the pupils must look forward to report time.

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

Saturday, 30 May 2009

Carly's Next Car Is A............

Here is my next car.

I've been busy saving my change in a jar to pay for it.

This very special Mercedes SLR McLaren Red Gold
Dream has been adorned with 500 rubies and 14k
gold, transforming a once unassuming super car into
something truly eye-catching.

The car is estimated to be $4.3 million.

mclaren mercedes slr rubies gold super car amazing pictures
mclaren mercedes slr rubies gold super car amazing pictures
mclaren mercedes slr rubies gold super car amazing pictures

Reasons Why Women Don't Need Handymen

10. Don't Forget The Emergency Break!

"It might be a little steep, but it should be fine"

10 reasons women dont need handyman funny pictures

9. Crooked Window, Crooked Contractor

"No, that looks pretty strait to me. Who really cares anyway?"

10 reasons women dont need handyman funny pictures

8. Watch Your Head! Doh!

"Nah, these steps are fine. You might
have to duck a little, but that's normal."

10 reasons women dont need handyman funny pictures

7. Safety first!

"Dude, that's a perfect place for a security
monitor. Wait, where should we put the camera?"

10 reasons women dont need handyman funny pictures

6. Miniature Steps And Handrail

"Housing codes require that we put up a
handrail if there is a staircase...or just
one single, solitary stair.

At least we're pretty sure that's what it says."

10 reasons women dont need handyman funny pictures

5. Light Pole

"Well, we have to put up a light pole here.
So, should we move the building or think
of something else?

I don't feel like moving the building today.

Let's think of something else."

10 reasons women dont need handyman funny pictures

4. What Doors?

"Hey, you told us to build the offices. You
didn't say anything about doors. That's not my job."

10 reasons women dont need handyman funny pictures

3. Bridge To Nowhere

"Harry, you do that side of the bridge and
I'll do this side. I'm sure it will all come
together somehow."

10 reasons women dont need handyman funny pictures

2. ATM (Awkwardly Tall Machine)

"Can you please stand a little further back?
I don't want you to see my pin number as
I jump to put it in. Thanks."

10 reasons women dont need handyman funny pictures

1. Too Close For Comfort

"Are our butts touching a little Howard?

Who built this anyway?"

10 reasons women dont need handyman funny pictures

Woman Dies Using Jack Hammer To Pleasure Herself

woman using jack hammerARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostitution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.

Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”

The BRAVEST Little Girl In The World

This is the bravest little girl in the world in my eyes.

Only ten years old and performing live in front of 18 million people, she started well but broke down in tears halfway through her performance. I had floods of tears running down my face watching this God love her.

She begged to be given another chance, her mother ran to the stage to comfort her and begged the judges to give her another chance.

Time was up for her though, the producers said they had no spare time. That was until BGT boss Simon Cowell declared "Hollie, somehow we will find time for you".

Here is her first performance, get the tissues ready.

Hollie left the stage and was allowed back. How she found the courage to do this was beyond me. The whole of Britain held it's breath for 3 minutes and Hollie absolutely nailed it big time.

What an awesome little girl.

Charlie The One Winged Duck

Charlie the drake flaps his wing at the
Weald and Down Open Air Museum in
Singleton, West Sussex.

The mallard's other wing was damaged
by a gun shot and it had to be amputated.

One consolation for Charlie is the fact he
is now officially the "Flying around in circles"
world champion.

charlie mallard one wing duck funny pictures

Friday, 29 May 2009

Girls Aloud Are Officially The Richest Reality TV Show Stars

girls aloud wealthiest reality show winners
Pop babes Girls Aloud have notched up another No1 – in the reality TV rich list.

Since finding fame on Popstars: The Rivals in 2002, Sarah Harding, 27, Cheryl Cole, 25, Nicola Roberts, 23, Kimberley Walsh, 27, and Nadine Coyle, 23, have amassed a £25million fortune with hits such as Sound Of The Underground.

But who else is a top telly earner?

2 Will Young £12.5million Age: 30
Since winning Pop Idol seven years ago, all four of his albums have charted well.

3 Leona Lewis £10million Age: 24
She won The X Factor in 2006 and her career has zoomed into the stratosphere.

4 Jade Goody £8million 1981–2009
Won hearts of British public back in 2002 when she entered the Big Brother house.

5 Myleene Klass £7.5million Age: 31
Won Popstars in 2001 with Hear’Say and is now a top presenter and M&S TV ad star.

6 Gareth Gates £6.5million Age: 24
Runner-up to Will Young in Pop Idol, he is now star of Joseph on West End stage.

7 Paul Potts £5million Age: 38
Former Carphone Warehouse manager won Britain’s Got Talent in 2007.

8 Craig Phillips £5million Age: 37
Won first Big Brother in 2000. Has steady income from TV and public appearances.

9 Lemar £4million Age: 31
Third place on Fame Academy in 2002. Has now sold over two million albums.

10 Jane McDonald £3.5million Age: 46
Sailed to fame on The Cruise and appeared in Las Vegas. Now a star of Loose Women.

11 Liberty X £3million
Michelle Heaton, 28, and gang had 10 hit singles and sold over a million albums. Split in 2007.

12 Brian Dowling £2.5million Age: 30
Won second Big Brother in 2001. Later voted most popular BB winner ever.

13 Ben Fogle £2million Age: 35
Leapt to fame in BBC Castaway 2000. Now a top presenter of countryside series.

14 Kym Marsh £1.8million Age: 32
Hit the big time with Hear’Say. Now earns £100,000 a year in Coronation Street.

15 Suzanne Shaw £1.4million Age: 27
Another refugee from Hear’Say. Appeared in stage shows and won Dancing On Ice.

16 Abigail Clancy £1.25million Age: 23
Second on Britain’s Next Top Model. But is now one of UK’s top glamour babes.

17 Charlotte Hobrough £1.2million Age: 33
Won £1million prize in first series of Survivor. Ex-policewoman has now rejoined force.

18 Chantelle Houghton £1million Age: 25
Won Celebrity Big Brother in 2006 – after entering house as the only non-celeb.

19 Jonny Gibb £1million Age: 38
Ex-policeman Jonny won second series of Survivor. Now works as a personal trainer.

20 Darius Danesh £900,000 Age: 28
Lost out on Popstars and Pop Idol, but had big-selling album and star roles on stage.

Obama Censors Photographs Of Alleged Prisoner Sexual Abuse And Rape

Photographs of alleged prisoner abuse which Barack Obama is attempting to censor include images of apparent rape and sexual abuse.

Iraq prison abuse: Abu Ghraib abuse photos 'show rape'

At least one picture shows an American soldier apparently raping a female prisoner while another is said to show a male translator raping a male detainee.

Further photographs are said to depict sexual assaults on prisoners with objects including a truncheon, wire and a phosphorescent tube.

Detail of the content emerged from Major General Antonio Taguba, the former army officer who conducted an inquiry into the Abu Ghraib jail in Iraq.

Allegations of rape and abuse were included in his 2004 report but the fact there were photographs was never revealed. He has now confirmed their existence in an interview with the Daily Telegraph.

The graphic nature of some of the images may explain the US President’s attempts to block the release of an estimated 2,000 photographs from prisons in Iraq and Afghanistan despite an earlier promise to allow them to be published.

Maj Gen Taguba, who retired in January 2007, said “These pictures show torture, abuse, rape and every indecency. The mere description of these pictures is horrendous enough, take my word for it.”

In April, Mr Obama’s administration said the photographs would be released and it would be “pointless to appeal” against a court judgment in favour of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU).

So where are the pictures? I certainly don't have any desire to see them and I don't think they should be published in the public domain. They should, however, be handed over to the appropriate authorities so the guilty parties can be charged with these horrific crimes they committed against these Iraqi people.

These 'soldiers' are there to do a job, a job they readily agreed to when they signed the dotted line after applying for it. This doesn't give them the right to rape and assault women and men as and when they please.

America should be seen to punish these people or face the consequences. If anyone did this to any of my family members I'd make sure they paid for it!!

Phil Spector Gets 19 Years

Phil Spector, the music producer, has been sentenced to 19 years to life behind bars after being found guilty last month of murdering an actress at his mansion six years ago

Phil Spector sentenced to 19 years to life in prison for Lana Clarkson murder
Phil Spector and his attorney Dennis Riordan listen to the sentencing Photo: AP

Spector, 69, who created the famed "Wall of Sound" recording technique during the 1960s, was convicted of killing Lana Clarkson, best known for her role in cult 1985 film "The Barbarian Queen".

Although the mandatory sentence is 15 years to life, Alan Jackson, the deputy district attorney, argued Spector should face an additional four years for personal use of a gun in the crime.

He pleaded not guilty to murdering Lana Clarkson, best known for her role in cult 1985 film "The Barbarian Queen", who was found slumped in a chair with a gunshot wound to the head in the foyer of Spector's castle-like home on February 3 2003, only hours after meeting the producer for the first time at the nightclub where she worked.

During Spector's retrial, defence lawyers said the 40-year-old, whose career had stalled at the time of her death, had killed herself.

But five female acquaintances testified that Spector had threatened them at gunpoint in incidents dating back to the 1970s.

Spector's former chauffeur also gave damaging evidence, telling jurors that on the night of the shooting, his employer had emerged from a doorway clutching a pistol in a bloodied hand, saying: "I think I killed somebody."

Only weeks before Clarkson's killing, Spector gave a rare interview to the Daily Telegraph, in which he described himself as "relatively insane".

Female Porn (This Is What All Us Girls Fantasise About)

Yes indeed, this is heaven.

Click the thumbs for full
size image guys and see
what we girls want.

The Amazing Paper Art Of Simon Schubert

All of the artwork you can see below is done
by a guy named Simon Schubert.

It is done purely by folding the paper, and
does not involve any rubbings are embossing
of any kind.

I found it to be quite fascinating.

Click the thumbnails to see full size and be amazed.