Saturday, 1 August 2009

How To Fail Spectacularly

The Goal

To break a row of coconuts open as quickly as possible with his bare hands, thus proving once and for all man's dominance over nature.

What Went Wrong

Imagine if coconut breaking was your ultimate goal in life. Practicing long and hard on the lesser, punier fruits, calculating the ideal point at which to hit a coconut for maximum destruction, trying to find someone who actually cared about your hobby...these are all part of the trials that a coconut smasher faces in life.

Imagine the anticipation when the big day comes, when you finally get that chance to join the hallowed ranks of famed fruit and vegetable destroyers that Guinness World Records has produced.

So you invite your friends and family to watch. You get the TV cameras there to record your triumph. You line up many, many coconuts...

...And while you manage to break both your spirit and probably your hand, you break not a single coconut.

Lesson Learned

Look, I know coconuts aren't free. But when you try to set a record of some kind, you might want to, you know, practice doing it at least once. And don't practice on, say, rotten watermelons or eggplant. Spring for a couple of real coconuts, and do a dry run before the cameras get there. You'll thank yourself later.

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